1. |
intro (feat. Tahjia)
00:57
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2. |
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all of the ways i learn
how to love
remembering how i loved you
i didn’t know i had it in me
all of the ways i learn
how to love (myself)
remembering how i loved you
i didn’t know i had it in me (all along)
giving you
permission to
let go of me
giving you
permission
to be free
yeah
I’m too concerned with
whether you like me
and if your authority’ll
always overwhelm mine
and if i should
take the time to find
some peace of mind
we be could an arena
i wanna battle
i get stronger and stronger
i work harder and harder
return to my roots
i was a martyr (all along)
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3. |
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there will be no equal exchange
how can you judge the hand the feeds you
i feel sick
treating you like this
as if
you weren’t keeping me alive
your love helped me survive
it’s fair
it’s right
I never promised ya
I’d be alright
-
didn’t you tell me
who you were
before it all started
back when you were honest
back when you had nothing to lose
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4. |
you did it for me
02:21
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i came
then i cried
i need a body
like the sun needs the tide
i was stupid
but i never lied
i held you like
you were winning the fight
you did it for me
cuz we
wanted the same things
you’re not a good friend
you just like to play pretend
you’re an actor
decided to write your own roles
you’re a liar
compulsive people-pleaser
damaged and numb
takes one to know one
i wish i could fix you
but that’s something only you can do
building some pride
in your own eyes
you did it for—
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5. |
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now i can look at you
as much as i want to
you’re not telling me not to
you’re not telling me not to
I’m still takin my cues from you
the loss didn’t leave me
you gave me something i never had
and you can’t take back
all of your eccentricities
are not escaping me
i still look through your eyes
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6. |
feeling anxious
03:34
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feeling anxious
thinking about the breakup
i can feel myself de-forming
growing up with crooked roots
i can hear myself conforming
to a future i can only smell
i can heal myself disarming
into a goo we all know well
i can miss myself from a distance
while the mirror’s left to bloat and swell
the electricity
i see
with my eyes closed
it’s a mystery i don’t wanna know
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7. |
you are my love story
03:54
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why do i gotta write another sad song
they think they’re betraying me
but i don’t care about
that sort of thing anymore
(what do i care about?)
what’s it gonna mean
when you’re older?
what’s it gonna mean
that it’s never really over?
will you prove me wrong?
will you really move on?
will i understand
how a heart can close off completely?
you are my love story
if we’re trying to keep it simple
like it ever was (ha)
concise like we didn’t talk all the time
I don’t feel pride
in anything I’ve done
I’m blessed I’m cursed
I’m not the first or last one
I say I’m sorry
You always said you were sorry
when you never did anything wrong
and now you’re gone
born guilty
you didn’t stand a chance
but when you’re with me it’s a
special circumstance
I say I’m sorry
I say—
Our lives are finite
and I wonder
if this is as low as
I’m gonna go
How can i know?
Should I wait til the afternoon
so it doesn’t seem like I’m desperate
but desperate’s all I’ve been this week
or month
winter’s always been hard for me
but I guess I’m meant to be
alone like this right now
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8. |
outro
00:34
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9. |
bonus
02:37
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A
forgive and forget
as the memory fades you know I’ll find the time
wasted on regret
as the future calls I know I’ll cross your mind
suddenly I’m in a new city
and i haven’t seen you for 10 years
your new love
she isn’t as pretty
but I think you like what’s in-between her ears
B
hey
don’t change
I like you just the way you are
hey (you’re so special)
don’t change (so helpful)
I like you just the way you are
You’re so special
So helpful
So it’s ok
that you feel this way
C
I give up on my thoughts making sense
trying to interpret them like messages
my thinking’s like scrambled eggs
I just woke up
it’s repetitive
I’m still
I’m in bed and I feel like I’m doomed already
It’s scary how I feel so self-aware and no better off
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Sarahann Kolder Iowa City, Iowa
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